It’s almost impossible for me to wrap my head around the fact that I just started seriously using acrylic paint only a year ago. Now, that is somewhat disingenuous - I have used non-wetting paints relatively extensively, ie. acryla gouache. There is an important distinction, though, because you’re not going to paint something huge with acryla gouache….at least I’m not going to. Those little tubes are expensive! Plus, they’re much more suited to working on paper than something like canvas - wood panels work ok with them though. There’s just something about heavy body, or even fluid acrylics that is just different to me. I think it comes down to a simple mindset shift - that I’m a fine artist. I know it sounds kind of dumb, but labels for me have been really important. When I was in high school, I knew that I had some kind of urge to make things, but I simply didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate what that meant or what I would have to be to do that. I went with Graphic Design initially, partially to convince my parents I could make money with it (lol.lmao.) but the design thing never really panned out for me. At the time at least I just followed the motions and got the degree while secretly painting and taking illustration and printmaking classes - absolutely loving every moment of those classes.

There was an experience I had as a teenager where I received one of those ‘art kits’ with all the different kinds of art supplies in a wooden case and of course I tried out all of them - colored pencils, markers, etc. The acrylic paints though, made me so frustrated! I see now that there is a possibility that painting outside in a shed (“too messy to use in the house” - My Mom, probably right) and also in the middle of summer and also with no water at all… So the paint started drying on the brush and the little plastic palette and I tried painting some kind of ogre or something but got really mad and quit. That experience in that afternoon then shaped my perception of my abilities and what I was allowed to do in my head for the next 15 years. That I wasn’t good at acrylics, don’t even try, it’s just not your thing. For 15 years. This is, of course, absolutely idiotic. For whatever reason I just internalized this belief and continued on with it as truth. It’s a funny thing for the human brain to do - just assume things about yourself so much that you don’t even realize you believe them. Part of my untangling of faith and my upbringing and my own identity has been to question myself and really try to interrogate why I believe and do certain things. It’s a tough exercise but ultimately something I think more people should take a crack at - because you can arrive at some really huge monoliths of belief that you just do not agree with anymore. Like not being allowed to use acrylic paints or be a fine artist. It’s sounds silly, but that self-reflection has led to a myriad of revelations about me that have made me so much more comfortable and at home with myself.

This is all the long way around to saying essentially - question yourself. Are there things you do or believe that are just on auto pilot? Some stuff you investigate and discover new things to love about something you already really loved.

Last month Michael’s (the craft store) put all their canvases on sale for 70% off. I bought 10 - the biggest being almost 3 feet by 4 feet. I love painting and took the opportunity to try out not just painting small little panels, but big canvases. I haven’t finished all of them yet, but I’m having a great time. When you learn a little more about how to do something, it turns out it’s not as hard as you thought and might be what you should have been doing all along.

-Matt

I painted a box with random doodles on it - last year around this time

I painted a little dragon - I ended up somehow selling this little guy. I still can’t believe it.

The New Blog

On Acrylic: One Year In