On Losing Bruce
Trigger warning up front here: pet loss and graphic medical descriptions
This is one of those things I knew would happen eventually, but I tried to tuck it away in the back of my mind any time it came up. There’s no reason to mince words - I lost my little buddy Bruce Wayne at the end of last year on Christmas and in a truly horrifying way.
I don’t want to focus too much on the end, but just to maybe explain why I haven’t been on social media much or got behind on the newsletter. Honestly writing all this out is just therapeutic for me
Bruce wanted to be on my lap any time he could. He made an excellent drawing support. 2022
So here’s what happened. We were all sitting around watching tv when he started having bad stomach issues all over the place and yowling at the top of his lungs. Obviously we were extremely concerned and kept him in my office away from the other cats so he could rest also he had no control over his bowels. I’m going to try and not make anybody sick with this but also I don’t want to dance around the reality of it because this piece is also for me and my own processing.
Anyway, after a vet visit which just gave me some probiotics and sent me along things just didn’t get better, and only got worse. Eventually he wasn’t eating, and was still having massive intestinal issues and was clearly in a lot of pain. I got him into another vet on Monday and they kept him for 2 days and $900 later they sent him home on the 23rd saying he should improve and is doing better and off we went. We had a couple of nights with him, for which I’m incredibly grateful, and then after getting home from my parents’ house on Christmas day, we found him catatonic and crying out in pain. I’d been noticing him be especially unsteady and having some head tremors, but I chalked that up eating almost nothing.
He was a little snuggle buddy almost every night 2021
After what felt like hours we knew we couldn’t do anything and tried to let him rest. There was no where to go, it was Christmas. We knew if he made it through the night we needed to get him out of misery as fast as possible. It was excruciating. I wish I could say he passed in his sleep and pain free, but that’s just not what happened.
This was honestly one of the most traumatic things Ennis and I have ever gone through. I know for me it trumps everything else quite a bit. Writing it all out, slowly, with lots of breaks, has helped me process it all a bit. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, but if you have, I hope nothing like this ever happens to you or your pets. Give them an extra treat or belly rub as often as you can, because one day you’ll have held them for the last time. You’ll hear them coming up the stairs with a toy for you for the last time. You’ll wake up with them pressed close to your chest for the last time. Just appreciate them.
Bruce had 12 solid years of incredible health, which brings me a lot of comfort. He was incredibly gregarious with people coming over and was a very gentle and patient little soul. He let my young relatives pet him and when we found 2 kittens this past Summer he bathed them and cuddled them and was gentle with them even when they kept playing with his tail. I’ll miss him enormously and still when I’m in the shower I’ll think I’ll hear him outside the bathroom meowing loudly for me. It’s hard to overstate how much impact a pet can have on your life and I’m forever thankful that I had the chance to be his guardian and companion while he was on this side of the rainbow. I hope I did enough. I’ll miss you little buddy.
-Matt
Here are 24 self indulgent images that make me feel close to my buddy. In no specific order.
Left to right
The strongest head boops Charleston2022
Cuddlebuddy Baltimore 2021
Drawing support. Charleston 2022
Always has been incredibly vocal. loud boy. Baltimore 2021
He loved resting his head on my chair and napping on my lap, Baltimore 2020
More headboops, Baltimore 2020
Christmas gentleman, Baltimore 2021
Tummy in the sun, Baltimore 2021
Santa Cat, College Park 2018
He always loved sitting on my hand and getting carried around. Chincoteague, 2015
On my lap. Start of my illustration journey.College Park (first time) 2012
Big boy College Park (first time) 2014
Concerned after I got out of the shower. Chincoteague, 2017
Still just a little guy. College park (first time) 2012
At the bar with Ennis. College park (first time) 2014
Sleeping on my desk. College park (first time) 2013
Electric blanket. College park (first time) 2015
Sleeping on my chest, as always. College Park (first time) 2014
Just moved to Chincoteague 2017
Relaxing on the couch. Chincoteague 2016
In my cold studio. Chincoteague 2015
Looking out at ponies. Chincoteague 2015
Just moved to Baltimore 2018
Recently Adopted in my first apartment on my own. 2010